Back when..

More about these pictures in a minute, but here is some background as to how I came about them. It is amazing sometimes where you start and where you end up. I suppose the ending is here posting these images in my blog and hence an entire post, but lets see how we got there.

Lately, I feel like I have been in a rut, not a deep one mind you but one none the less. Maybe I have always been in this rut and since A came along she made me forget about the rut and I have been able to enjoy life, and don’t get me wrong I really do enjoy life but now maybe A is becoming more part of this rut and the rut is becoming more evident.

It all started this morning when I started watching movie trailers on Yahoo and I came across a trailer for the movie In the Land of WomenIn the Land of Women (click the link to see the trailer). I was checking it out because I thought it would be some kind of Hot woman island yadda yadda, but alas I was on the wrong site for that if you know what I mean, but the trailer seem to suck me in just because it made me think about just picking and letting go of your past life and moving on to something new. Now it probably never works in the movies and you wont have some hot blonde chick your neighbor who instantly falls in love with you, but wouldn’t it be nice?

So anyways…

You see I have always had this deep seeded fantasy to just sell everything I own pack up and move to the Caribbean. Though this probably not feasible I think it would a fun way to live your life if not for just a few years. Just go live on the beach and get some meaningless job to pay the bills for a small cabana on a tropical island. Far fetched? You bet! Is it possible, sure, but I am not sure if it as good as it sounds. So I share this long dream with my resident psycho online therapist friend and after a chat we determine that my life needs some sort of change maybe not as drastic as moving to some far off island nation but definitely something. Though luckily I am at a point in my life that I can necessitate this change, I am in the midst of trying to sell my house, and hopefully once I do I can move and this leads to the change in my life that I am seeking. Since my house has been on the market I have been scoping out places where to live and there are really a bunch of different choices. Currently I drive about 50 minutes to an hour each way for work so naturally I want to move closer, but the question is how close. My current employment has me downtown of a major metropolitan area. (My office is one of those buildings above). So like I said there are tons of choices from yuppie suburbs to trendy outskirts of town to actual downtown. Now of course there are pros and cons to all of these, but I finally made up my mind that I want to live directly down town. Yeah it will be more expensive and I will probably have to give up some of my freedoms of a homeowner but I think it will be worth it to have a different type of interaction with people and community. I plan on only living here for a year maybe two just to get a different perspective on life in general and maybe open up some new avenues in my life, and make my life feel less like a rut.

We are getting to about the pictures trust me....

So I decided to do some searching as to the best place for me to live and searching for 'my future' home. I meander the never ending halls of internet until I reach a forum with some relevant information on my search but then I stumble upon this thread and it shows all these pictures of past life in our city. There were many pictures of life back in the ‘good ole days’ but I picked this one just because my current office is in the picture and it is just really neat to see something over 60 years ago and how much things have and have not changed.

Sadly to say the city now is not like it once was with bustling streets and a vibrant shopping district, but certain parts are making a comeback( the parts where I want to live of course) The black and white picture shows a main st of the city with the hustle and bustle of 1940's life. I can imagine people taking in a Broadway like show in one of the many theaters and then spending the rest of a sunlight Sunday afternoon window shopping at all the different boutiques. The second picture is a picture from surprising a very similar angle, and you can see the buildings have not changed much but the depiction of life has with people worrying about just getting from point a to point b with all the offices downtown are more for the 9 to 5ers instead of place to bring your kids downtown on a Sunday. Though surprising the city is trying to revitalize this street and eventually they are going to try to put in a similar trolley/bus line similar from the black and white photo. I will try to keep you updated.

Like I said isnt it amazing where you end up sometimes. I got from point a to point b, but would of never expected an entire blog post from it.

Wow Time Flies...

Wow it is already Thursday. I have been absent from my blog for an entire week. Alas I am back same person as I was before. Not much going on. Had a wonderful weekend this past weekend. The weather was just absolutely beautiful out. It really is amazing how your attitude changes when the weather is nice out. A and I did so much this weekend. We ended up biking 95 miles in total. We did a nice long ride of 40 miles on Saturday. It was longest ride I have ever done and probably could of done many more miles. It really is amazes me how much I have changed physically over the past year. Just to give you some comparison last year at this time. I would be a struggle for me to do 12 miles total, so I have pretty much tripled my output. Also during the weekend, we got in a movie Blades of Glory. A had free passes so we decided to go. It was definitely a classic Will Ferrell movie, not as great Talladega Nights or Anchor Man but definitely one that can go in the DVD collection. Then we ended up going downtown to have a few drinks with some of A's friends it was nice. We got a pitcher of Sangria for $30 and I ended up drinking most of that, with that and parking for $8 it was a lil pricey night. It is so expensive to go out downtown, and to think I want to move there. Then we rounded out our weekend with a NBA playoff game. Our team won so that just put an exclamation point at the end of our great weekend. One other exciting note from the weekend is I finally said that dirty four letter L word to HER. I have actually been holding it back a while and wanted to say it for a while but never found the right 'moment' to say it, It never felt right and its not something you can say in IM or a text message. Though through the magic of TV a show shed some light on why you should not hold back saying the L word. Just to sum up what I learn is if you feel something for somebody you should not hold it back just because you are scared because you never know when you may never get the chance to say it. Our lives are so fragile on this earth that you need to say what you feel because you never know when your time here will end. And though actually I did say it one night in bed as we were falling asleep.. I said something along the lines of 'love you, goodnight' but got no response from her so a) she didnt feel right saying it back or b) didn't hear me. Saying I love you and not having somebody respond to it may be worse than going in for a kiss and not being kissed back. Also its not like something you can say "Hey did you hear me?" so its one of those things that I had to get over and honestly it was not much for me to get over but at least I said it , but finally before passing out from a drunken stupor on Saturday night she finally said it and I gladly responded. It seems we are still very hesitant to use it with each other and I am not sure why but I think it carries more meaning when we say it to each other now instead of ending every conversation, text, or IM with i love you, which is nice. Lesson from this story: If you love somebody tell them even if it scares you!

This week has flown by so fast, we went to another NBA playoff game on Wednesday and had a great time. We spent about 4 hours before the game drinking and a local watering hole where we were joined by two of her friends, so we had a great time sitting drinking and talking. We continued drinking at the game, it really is amazing how much they will rake you over the coals for drinks at any kind of event. $6 bucks for a beer. I can get a whole friggin 6 pack for that. So alas only had a couple drinks at the game and that was enough to keep my buzz going.

Wow I have so much to talk about and it feels like I do not want to ramble on and on about non sense but here are some highlights.

I think I finally got my car sold, well my parents got my car sold for me. Which is good because I had a payment due in May and I dont know where I was going to get money to pay for that, so hopefully all goes well and I will depart from 'my baby' soon payment book included. Its amazing how time passes. I have been separated from my ex for close to 7 months and still trying to get things straight in my life. Now if I could get somebody to buy my house I would be golden. Lesson in this one kids: Don't get married until you are 30, unless you have a good reason like a green card is involved or you have a terminal illness.

I hate owning a house. home ownership is great, you can do what you want and you only have yourself to answer to, but when stuff breaks then YOU have to pay and fix it. Right now I have water heater that is leaking and a lawn mower that goes about 10 feet before it shuts off. I guess if I look on the bright side of things I still have hot water, and I am getting a work out from pull starting that thing every 2 minutes. Lesson: Only by a house if you are a handy man, know a handy many or one of your parents who still like you are handy people.

Now I dont claim to be a fan of American Idol, but A loves to watch it and it is on Tuesday night when TV is horrendous anyways since no other show has the balls to go up against it, so I am coheres into watching it. But I really think they are getting too big for themselves when they start doing this Idol gives back non-sense, do they think they are going to be a new kind of religion or something, and then they have the nerve to say since this was a charity show we can't vote anybody off. Even though two will be voted off next week I think LaKisha and her gap should of been gone long ago. Lesson: Everybody has 2 cents to put in about American Idol.

Ok exhale...

After writing this it sounds more like rants than highlights, so I apologize for anybody having to read this.

I promise more sooner than later.

What type of lettuce do you perfer?

Now this may only be me, but the other day I was making a sandwich for my lunch at work (I always do this the night before) and I always have to have lettuce my sandwiches and usually I just throw some random lettuce on there and be done with it but I had just opened a fresh bag of lettuce and I got my pick. And for some reason I just love the crunchy almost white lettuce you know the type the kind almost in the middle of a head of lettuce. So I finish up my lunch and don’t think much about it until yesterday when I had my sandwich and I said to myself 'Wow what a mighty good sandwich' and then that’s when I remember about my favorite type of lettuce I don't know what it is about it, but it just makes my sandwich taste so much better. What was the point of the last few lines? Oh I don’t know it could be total rambling and maybe I am going on the FBI's watch list because I am raving about the type of lettuce I like, but it just makes you think about the small things in life that make it all that much better. Would I have had just as nice day if I didn’t have 'that' kind of lettuce? Of course, but then I wouldn't of had anything to start my blog about. I guess it is my spin on 'stopping and smelling the roses' maybe stop and think today what simple stupid things you like in life.

Well I did not expect that topic to cover so much space but alas it did. The weekend is fast approaching and for once it looks like it is going to be a beautiful weekend here in northeast southwest rural suburbia... Ha gotcha you thought I was going to divulge the secret identity of my hide out. But alas you still do not know, but anyways yes it appears to be a grand weekend in store for the area which means time to get the bicycle out. I am hopeful to get 3 good rides in this weekend, and hopefully A will be with me, she loves cycling just as much as I do which is great. I honestly totally agree with the line: "A couple that plays together, stays together" It is so enjoyable to have somebody who shares almost all the same interests as you, so you are both off doing different things. I believe 'playing' together keeps the relationship renewed and invigorated. I can just see a total difference between my past relationship and this one and how this one feels so much more healthy for me.

It really is amazing what a difference a year makes. Last year at this time I was probably close to 75lbs over weight married and totally miserable. The only daily enjoyment I really found in my life was flirting with a married woman here at work. Is that wrong? I am sure some would say yes and some would say it is harmless, because nothing came of it which is probably for the best and we are still good friends and still work together so I guess as of now we can say it has not ended badly. But now I am only 15 lbs over weight (still working on that part) divorced and have a younger (haha) wonderful girlfriend who we share almost all the same interests. Even though we it has only been 'roughly' six months and still enjoying the 'honeymoon' phase of the relationship I feel like a totally different person then I did a year ago. So all I will say what a difference a year makes. It just reminds me of memorable line for a country song, yes I said country (like I said damn ex's) but the quote is 'And if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans' It just seems like most times you don’t end up where you thought you were going at least for me.

Now for your daily dose of funniness: Pegging Co-Worker with Skittles Pay attention to the guy on the right hand side in the middle. Which person do you think you are at work? The person throwing the stuff, the person retaliating or the people sitting around watching it happen? Yes I am trying to make a metaphor of life out of this stupid clip. Think about it ;-) More soon Kids!

Randomness...

Randomness

I love Mt Dew, though I have been drinking it mostly in the diet version for the past year. Drink tip: Mt Dew and Triple Sec = Mountain Sex

I don’t have a regular phone I only have a cell phone, is that normal?

I like my toilet paper over and not under.

I like free food, even if I don’t need it or am not hungry. For example just now a co-worker placed 100 calorie packs of Doritos in the lunch room and I just took a handful whatever a handful may be and I have very big hands so I ended up with 6 packs, that’s not right.

You know what they say about guys with big hands…

(its hard to find gloves)

I have a perverted sense of humor, and I can almost turn anything PG related into something perverted.

I have over 200 people on my AIM list 95% I never speak to anymore, I just like to leave them on my list to a) feel like I have friends b) read away messages and c) see if they ever get online again.

I love the History channel. If there is nothing else on tv you can ALWAYS turn it on the History Channel and find something to watch for at least 10 minutes.

My favorite spice is Italian Seasoning.

I love puns and play on words especially sexual ones, but most of the time they are just lame or stupid.

I secretly have man crushes on Kiefer Sutherland and Chris Daughtry.

I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone and that the Moon Landing was real.

Who ever thought button fly jeans were a good idea?

I do not think it’s a bad thing to keep your young kids on a leash much like pets.

I love the sound of rain on the roof and the wind blowing on a cold snowy night.

Sometimes its fun to be ‘those’ people.

Stores should not be allowed to put out decorations for major holidays until all other major holidays have passed. For example putting Christmas decorations out in September, you still have Columbus Day Veterans day and Black Friday.

I love riding escalators.

I believe that if you are on welfare and don’t have a job then you can do jobs like pumping gas and cleaning up highways. I mean do something instead of trying to figure out if you can pay for your cigarettes with food stamps.

I like checking out other girls and admittedly I will do it sometimes when I am with my girlfriend but most of the time I say wow my girlfriend is hotter than that.

I wish I had Jimmy Buffet’s life.

I want to make a sex video and have it leak on the internet.

I would not mind if the weather was 70 and sunny everyday and it snowed only on Christmas Eve and Christmas.

MySpace is overrated even if I do have an account.

I don’t mind whistling Barry Manilow Songs.

I re-wash clothes just so I don’t have to iron them.

People driving the speed limit in the left lane of a highway piss me off.

I’ve never been to a strip club.

I love driving with the windows down and the sun roof open.

I am always looking for acceptance from everybody.

If there is an S at the end of the word I will pronounce it, so there are plenty of IroquoiS in IllinoiS

I admit it I have been to a Weird Al Yankovic concert.

I use Yahoo instead of Google.

What a difference 24 hours make

Well here we day 2 and still no Heartburn oh wait this isnt a Prilosec OTC commercial and yes some of my references can be lame and absurd, but I figure if it makes me laugh maybe just maybe somebody out there can laugh along with me. But yes day 2 and another posting, I know somebody out there is anxiously awaiting another post, so here it is.
So after my last post which I posted during the early hours of work I was feeling great and feeling great for most of the day until lunch time and then things started to go downhill. After lunch I had this pain in my stomach, and it just did not subside, but I continued on my daily routine. The pain for the most part went away and I tried to get a work out in which was only 5.5 miles which is shorter than my normal 7.5 miles that I usually run, but some work out is better than none right? I did make it up to my lovely girlfriend's (for the future we will call her A) apartment in time for her to make some dinner and we could sit down and watch Survivor, though I was not that hungry I decided to pig out like I normally do and then pain returned with more ferocity (is that a word?.. well you get the point) So I lay in pain on the couch trying to enjoy some CSI but to no avail. Finally A goes and gets some meds for me which doesn’t have an immediate effect, but needless to say it was a rough night last night but fortunately I have made a steady recovery which is good because today is Billy Joel. A purchased tickets back in January and has anxiously awaited the concert for a while but my illness placed our plans in limbo but at this point it seems like I should be will enough to attend. Though to be honest I have not been a huge Billy Joel fan though one of my favorite songs would have to be Piano Man but I have been listening to his CDs and I have to say I should definitely enjoy the show tonight. I know I know not an exciting post maybe it is just my mood right now but a lil more than an hour of work remains then its time for the weekend and isn't that what we all are working for?
I do have one link to share with you. I find this clip very funny maybe it is because my dad is an avid fisherman and there were many Saturday mornings that were taken up by fishing shows instead of cartoons, but still if you can't chuckle at some of these then you are a sad sad sad person...
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=22871

On the edge of greatness?

Probably not the edge of greatness, but it sounds good in theory right? So here we are my first blog entry of my first ever blog. Well let me take that back I suppose I did make an entry or two on my MySpace account but those don't count and I would like to take a mulligan for those entries. So here we are a vast space of nothingness, but hopefully soon it will be full of something. What is that something going to be? Who knows really. I decided to start this as some therapy. A blog of total anonymity. A blog about one mans life the whole life no secrets, no lies, no hiding. Everybody has secrets some big, some small and I am willing to put it all out there for anybody to read. Putting it all out there with no fear of judgment or reprisal. I have decided to write this blog as if you got in your car and had no idea where you were going you just decided to make a left here and a right there and we will see where we end up. Will I end up with something meaningful and life altering? Maybe? Will I end up with a cluster fuck? More than likely.
Just take one moment and think for a minute does anybody know you fully? Does anybody know what makes you so well that they know makes you tick? Well if you do good for you. I know for a fact that nobody in my life knows me fully. My family knows part about me, my friends know parts about me, my ex knows parts about me and even current girlfriend knows parts about me but nobody knows the whole story. I am going to steal a quote from Shrek but sometimes I feel my life is like an onion and you have to get through the layers to get to know me, and sometimes I can make you cry. There is only one person that I know that has even tried getting through a lot of these layers to get to know me, and she is the only person that knows about the existence of this blog. (Who doesn't like getting props in another blog?)
With all of that being said, everything stated here is fact only the names have been changed to make it more fun?
I am sure I will reveal more in my upcoming entries, but we can start with some very general basics. I am a male and yes I will post male things good or bad and if you don't like that then you don't have to read it. I at no point in this blog will claim I am a Saint. I am just a person and have faults like everybody else. I am just writing them down now and maybe seeing it in black and white will help me change to be a different (better?) person. I am between the ages of 25-50 and I am sure if you read long enough you will be able to narrow down my age if you are perceptive enough. I am NOT an English major NOR do I play one on TV, so if you are bothered by my using of affect and effect or set and sit or lay and lie, then I apologize right now. Though I am pretty sure I know what a lie is. I live in the United States of America where the last time I checked free speech was still an amendment, but I will not digress into the Imus situation at this point. Yeah I think that is all you need to know about me at this point. Well the nothingness is nothingness no more. Maybe I shall post more today, but I wanted to introduce myself to the blogging world. so HERE I AM world. Take me as I am.