Hindsight

The following was giving by Guy Kawasaki at a High School Graduation.. some of these just gave me goosebumps.

Palo Alto High School
Guy Kawasaki
Baccalaureate Speech 6/11/95
Speaking to you today marks a milestone in my life. I am 40 years old. 22 years ago, when I was in your seat, I never, ever thought I would be 40 years old.
The implications of being your speaker frightens me. For one thing, when a 40 year old geeser spoke at my baccalaureate ceremony, he was about the last person I'd believe. I have no intention of giving you the boring speech that you are dreading. This speech will be short, sweet, and not boring.
I am going to talk about hindsights today. Hindsights that I've accumulated in the 20 years from where you are to where I am. Don't blindly believe me. Don't take what I say as "truth." Just listen. Perhaps my experience can help you out a tiny bit.
I will present them ala David Letterman. Yes, 40-year old people can still stay up past 11.
#10: Live off your parents as long as possible.
When I spoke at this ceremony two years ago, this was the most popular hindsight-except from the point of view of the parents. Thus, I knew I was on the right track.
I was a diligent Oriental in high school and college. I took college-level classes and earned college-level credits. I rushed through college in 3 1/2 years. I never traveled or took time off because I thought it wouldn't prepare me for work and it would delay my graduation.
Frankly, I blew it.
You are going to work the rest of your lives, so don't be in a rush to start. Stretch out your college education. Now is the time to suck life into your lungs-before you have a mortgage, kids, and car payments.
Take whole semesters off to travel overseas. Take jobs and internships that pay less money or no money. Investigate your passions on your parent's nickel. Or dime. Or quarter. Or dollar. Your goal should be to extend college to at least six years.
Delay, as long as possible, the inevitable entry into the workplace and a lifetime of servitude to bozos who know less than you do, but who make more money. Also, you shouldn't deprive your parents of the pleasure of supporting you.
#9 Pursue joy, not happiness.
This is probably the hardest lesson of all to learn. It probably seems to you that the goal in life is to be "happy." Oh, you may be have sacrifice and study and work hard, but, by and large, happiness should be predictable.
Nice house. Nice car. Nice material things. Take my word for it, happiness is temporary and fleeting. Joy, by contrast, is unpredictable. It comes from pursing interests and passions that do not obviously result in happiness.
Pursuing joy, not happiness will translate into one thing over the next few years for you: Study what you love. This may also not be popular with parents. When I went to college, I was "marketing driven." It's also an Oriental thing.
I looked at what fields had the greatest job opportunities and prepared myself for them. This was brain dead. There are so many ways to make a living in the world, it doesn't matter that you've taken all the "right" courses. I don't think one person on the original Macintosh team had a classic "computer science" degree.
You parents have a responsibility in this area. Don't force your kids to follow in your footsteps or to live your dreams. My father was a senator in Hawaii. His dream was to be a lawyer, but he only had a high school education. He wanted me to be a lawyer.
For him, I went to law school. For me, I quit after two weeks. I view this a terrific validation of my inherent intelligence.
#8: Challenge the known and embrace the unknown.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make in life is to accept the known and resist the unknown. You should, in fact, do exactly the opposite: challenge the known and embrace the unknown.
Let me tell you a short story about ice. In the late 1800s there was a thriving ice industry in the Northeast. Companies would cut blocks of ice from frozen lakes and ponds and sell them around the world. The largest single shipment was 200 tons that was shipped to India. 100 tons got there unmelted, but this was enough to make a profit.
These ice harvesters, however, were put out of business by companies that invented mechanical ice makers. It was no longer necessary to cut and ship ice because companies could make it in any city during any season.
These ice makers, however, were put out of business by refrigerator companies. If it was convenient to make ice at a manufacturing plant, imagine how much better it was to make ice and create cold storage in everyone's home.
You would think that the ice harvesters would see the advantages of ice making and adopt this technology. However, all they could think about was the known: better saws, better storage, better transportation.
Then you would think that the ice makers would see the advantages of refrigerators and adopt this technology. The truth is that the ice harvesters couldn't embrace the unknown and jump their curve to the next curve.
Challenge the known and embrace the unknown, or you'll be like the ice harvester and ice makers.
#7: Learn to speak a foreign language, play a musical instrument, and play non-contact sports.
Learn a foreign language. I studied Latin in high school because I thought it would help me increase my vocabulary. It did, but trust me when I tell you it's very difficult to have a conversation in Latin today other than at the Vatican. And despite all my efforts, the Pope has yet to call for my advice. Learn to play a musical instrument. My only connection to music today is that I was named after Guy Lombardo. Trust me: it's better than being named after Guy's brother, Carmen. Playing a musical instrument could be with me now and stay with me forever. Instead, I have to buy CDs at Tower.
I played football. I loved football. Football is macho. I was a middle linebacker-arguably, one of the most macho position in a macho game. But you should also learn to play a non-contact sport like basketball or tennis. That is, a sport you can play when you're over the hill.
It will be as difficult when you're 40 to get twenty two guys together in a stadium to play football as it is to have a conversation in Latin, but all the people who wore cute, white tennis outfits can still play tennis. And all the macho football players are sitting around watching television and drinking beer.
#6: Continue to learn.
Learning is a process not an event. I thought learning would be over when I got my degree. It's not true. You should never stop learning. Indeed, it gets easier to learn once you're out of school because it's easier to see the relevance of why you need to learn.
You're learning in a structured, dedicated environment right now. On your parent's nickel. But don't confuse school and learning. You can go to school and not learn a thing. You can also learn a tremendous amount without school.
#5: Learn to like yourself or change yourself until you can like yourself.
I know a forty year old woman who was a drug addict. She is a mother of three. She traced the start of her drug addiction to smoking dope in high school.
I'm not going to lecture you about not taking drugs. Hey, I smoked dope in high school. Unlike Bill Clinton, I inhaled. Also unlike Bill Clinton, I exhaled.
This woman told me that she started taking drugs because she hated herself when she was sober. She did not like drugs so much as much as she hated herself. Drugs were not the cause though she thought they were the solution.
She turned her life around only after she realized that she was in a downward spiral. Fix your problem. Fix your life. Then you won't need to take drugs. Drugs are neither the solution nor the problem.
Frankly, smoking, drugs, alcohol-and using an IBM PC-are signs of stupidity. End of discussion.
#4: Don't get married too soon.
I got married when I was 32. That's about the right age. Until you're about that age, you may not know who you are. You also may not know who you're marrying.
I don't know one person who got married too late. I know many people who got married too young. If you do decide to get married, just keep in mind that you need to accept the person for what he or she is right now.
#3: Play to win and win to play.
Playing to win is one of the finest things you can do. It enables you to fulfill your potential. It enables you to improve the world and, conveniently, develop high expectations for everyone else too.
And what if you lose? Just make sure you lose while trying something grand. Avinash Dixit, an economics professor at Princeton, and Barry Nalebuff, an economics and management professor at the Yale School of Organization and Management, say it this way:
"If you are going to fail, you might as well fail at a difficult task. Failure causes others to downgrade their expectations of you in the future. The seriousness of this problem depends on what you attempt."
In its purest form, winning becomes a means, not an end, to improve yourself and your competition.
Winning is also a means to play again. The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the unlived life is not worth examining. The rewards of winning-money, power, satisfaction, and self-confidence-should not be squandered.
Thus, in addition to playing to win, you have a second, more important obligation: To compete again to the depth and breadth and height that your soul can reach. Ultimately, your greatest competition is yourself.
#2: Obey the absolutes.
Playing to win, however, does not mean playing dirty. As you grow older and older, you will find that things change from absolute to relative. When you were very young, it was absolutely wrong to lie, cheat, or steal.
As you get older, and particularly when you enter the workforce, you will be tempted by the "system" to think in relative terms. "I made more money." "I have a nicer car." "I went on a better vacation."
Worse, "I didn't cheat as much on my taxes as my partner." "I just have a few drinks. I don't take cocaine." "I don't pad my expense reports as much as others."
This is completely wrong. Preserve and obey the absolutes as much as you can. If you never lie, cheat, or steal, you will never have to remember who you lied to, how you cheated, and what you stole.
There absolutely are absolute rights and wrongs.
#1: Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone.
This is the most important hindsight. It doesn't need much explanation. I'll just repeat it: Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone.
Nothing-not money, power, or fame-can replace your family and friends or bring them back once they are gone. Our greatest joy has been our baby, and I predict that children will bring you the greatest joy in your lives-especially if they graduate from college in four years.
And now, I'm going to give you one extra hindsight because I've probably cost your parents thousands of dollars today. It's something that I hate to admit too.
By and large, the older you get, the more you're going to realize that your parents were right. More and more-until finally, you become your parents. I know you're all saying, "Yeah, right." Mark my words.
Remember these ten things: if just one of them helps you helps just one of you, this speech will have been a success:
#10: Live off your parents as long as possible.
#9 Pursue joy, not happiness.
#8: Challenge the known and embrace the unknown.
#7: Learn to speak a foreign language, play a musical instrument, and play non-contact sports.
#6: Continue to learn.
#5: Learn to like yourself or change yourself until you can like yourself.
#4: Don't get married too soon.
#3: Play to win and win to play.
#2: Obey the absolutes.
#1: Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone.
Congratulations on your graduation. Thank you very much.

Why can't I just be..

mad. Why can't I just be the one upset in the relationship? Why can't it be the other person's fault? Why does it feel like I am the one that always feels like I have done something wrong? Why do I have to bend to other person's wants or desires? Why do always feel like the bad guy? I really just want to be mad and not permanently. I just want to be upset, angry maybe bitter when somebody says something to me that hurts me. But no when I start acting like I am hurt the other person's feelings become hurt and they make it feel like it is my fault then I find myself coddling to their wants and feelings because I dont want anybody to be upset on my account, and then my feelings are neglected and repressed. I just want to scream let it all, be done and move on, but most times that just doesn’t happen. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh like right now.

So lets rewind. I was bored on Sunday evening hanging out at A’s and I started looking at jobs out there. I came across a position that fit my skill set perfectly, so I decided to send in my resume with a pie-in-the-sky salary requirement thinking that a) maybe I will get lucky or b) I will never hear from them. So low and behold on Monday afternoon they call me. (I guess they were impressed) After a few days of phone tag, I end up getting in to talk to them on Wednesday evening. I actually spend an hour and half there just going over things and pretty much I have the job if I want it, but their offer is almost 10k lower than my original salary requirement but still more than what I am making now. So A was all excited about this job interview I had and I was too, hoping that maybe this would be another new chapter in my life, so on my way home its about a 45 minute drive there. I get A on the phone and we were discussing my options. The only real reason I am even thinking about taking a new position is because of career advancement. Currently in my present position I have hit a ceiling of sorts and do not see myself going much further in this company and I have expressed my desire about this to the CTO and I have started reading up on Systems Analysis so that is a possible avenue in my current company. And when I tell A about how I want to do Systems Analysis she is not supportive in the least, she really doesn’t think it’s a ‘good idea’ and I am not sure why. Maybe it is because that is what she currently is doing and she feels threatened that I may do a better job than her. Who knows, but it upsets me that she is not supportive in the least and wants me to be happy in what I am doing at work. It really only seems that she wants me to get the job that makes the most money so I can spend it on her. Damn you women… damn you all. So yeah I was fairly upset about this because something similar happened this past Friday evening when I told her that this is what the CTO and I discussed, and she made me feel the same way. Though I just shrugged it off as no big deal. But this time I had to say something about how she made me feel and pretty much I had to get off the phone. We exchanged a few text messages back and forth later that evening and things were not too hostile, but I do not know. Maybe this relationship is waning. We shall see.

But I wanted to get this all out this morning before she gets into work and is all cute and adorable and makes me forget that I just want to be mad for a little while. Ok.. exhale……

My Way...

I will let my budy Frank S. lead us into this next posting.... Regrets I've had a few But then again too few to mention I did what I had to do And saw it through without exemption I planned each chartered course Each careful step along the by-way And more, much more than this I did it my way And then if my Buddy Borat was singing this it would end in NOT. Click hear for a refresher(Warning: Adult Content) Confused? I am sure you are. I got tagged by my only Blog buddy Sarah . First off Tag, honestly what a juvenile game. I think it is a perfect metaphor for our adult lives. We are something we don't want to be so we try to 'get rid' of it. It is different for everybody else some it is weight, some it is emotions, and others is just trying to get rid of an empty feeling inside of them. But no matter what IT is a lot of is are trying to get rid of it. Any ways, that is just my deep enlightenment in the world of Tag. As always I digress and I was tagged by Sarah to answer this question: What is the biggest regret of your life? Would you change it? Also, have you ever considered that you might actually not be like David Hasselhoff but more like Jack Lord when he was on Hawaii 5-O? That is where the nice little lyrical reference from Frank Sinatra comes in and the NOT joke by Borat. Unlike Frank I have had a lot of regrets or maybe I think I have regrets.

I thought about this a lot and there are some possibilities and probably the most glaring one that every one that knows would say would be getting married to who I did when I did, and that is definitely a regret I have. Though honestly I am not sure if I had to do it all over again that I wouldn't. I have learned so much about myself through this ordeal and I do not know if I could of learned it any other way. Though I think a major regret of mine is not being more outgoing. I tend to keep to myself a lot and I think that has led me to miss a lot of opportunities because of it. Just from a social aspect and possibly from a career aspect. So I think that is one of my biggest regrets and it is definitely something I am trying to work on in my life. I will keep you posted on how that goes..

Sometimes its the small things.. other times its the big things

Driving into work this morning I had another small epiphany, nothing too major not like I am going to cure cancer but I was driving to work at 7 am with my sunglasses ON. It is really not one of those things you think about it wearing sunglasses you just see this big ball of gas beating down on you from a million miles away and you instinctively put something over your eyes so you can actually see the 3 ton pieces of steel that are hurtling at you at 70 mphs on the freeway. But I thought about it and probably less than a month ago sunglasses in the morning would have been something I would have laughed at. It just seemed like I would have to drag my butt to work every morning in the pitch black and never see the sun until I’m comfortably settled in my cubicle at work. But not today my friends I had my sunglasses on and enjoying the sunshine at 7am. It was a wonderful way to start my Friday. Oh which leads me to wish everybody a Happy Cinco De Mayo. Put your party sombreros on and drink a Corona May 5th is a day everybody is Spanish and to think all those illegal immigrants say we don't appreciate them. Eh.. I did say something about big things in the title didn't I? Well I guess I should talk about it. (Warning: Rambling ahead) In my previous post I talked about saying that dirty four letter word to HER. So we have been saying it and honestly I do not know how I feel about it. What is love anyways? I sure as hell don't know and I will be the first to admit it. I really dont know if I should be saying I Love you to her or not. I think I should but who the hell knows. I think love is different for everybody you can not look it up in a medical dictionary see the symptoms and say yup thats me I am in Love. Now don't get me wrong. I really love being with her and love doing so many things with her, but how do I really know I am IN love with her. What have I gotten myself into? I went from one REALLY serious relationship to another pretty serious relationship. Now I am no no no no where close to getting down on one knee for this girl and who knows if I ever will for anybody after being married once already, but I really do like being with her. Though sometimes it feels like I am saying I love you just to make her happy and because it seems like thats the right thing I should do. And that is the thing that always gets me in trouble 'seems like right thing to do'. I think I always had in my mind of there was a set order to life like you had to do A to get to B in order to get to C. But now I think you can do A go to Z end up on H and never have to touch B or C. I am going to admit that A had me sucked into watching Grey's Anatomy last night and it gave a prime example of this: I dont know any of the people's names and I dont know any of the back story but in the end it showed these two women talking each supposedly in their late 30's one who was married, had a kid a successful job but now divorced and has 'never had any fun in her life' and another one who has a successful job a seemingly carefree and fun lifestyle but no family of her own and she is wanting to have a baby by artificial means. Both seem to be unhappy about how their life is going and they want what the other has but things on the surface are not always what they seem. Both seem to have a case of the 'grass is always greener' syndrome. And to be honest maybe that is what I am having with A, because I really dont know what is out there and how great I have it because I havent had enough time to swim in that ocean and get bitten by the other sharks out there. And it just always seemed like you grow up you go to school you graduate High school you go to college, graduate get a job and get married thats what you are 'suppose' to do, and that is what I did but that did not work out for me. I am not sure if I would change any of it, I have learned so much about myself and have learned to enjoy the small things in life and that is what I am doing right now. Like putting your sunglasses on in the morning.....

Thought for the day..

I found this deep thought/comment in an unlikely place and an unlikely time. So I was sitting in a dimly light bar enjoying a few frosty beverages for the local NBA playoff game, when I notice a this behind a sports commentator on a nightly show on ESPN. The quote was "I plan on being more spontaneous." I don't know why it caught my attention but it made me chuckle. Maybe its not funny or maybe it was just my sense of humor but the subtly of it made me laugh. I do enjoy play on words and puns immensely. Especially ones that sexual connotations to it. It really seems like I have a natural gift of turning anything innocent into something very x-rated. Though unfortunately(or fortunately depending on the reader) I do not have any examples at the moment. They seem to come easier to me when I am conversing with somebody usually a girl. (Oh wait play on words in the previous sentence) and there is no need to come up with any type of sexual deviations at the moment when talking to yourself. Thats kinda like foreplay with masturbation it just doesnt happen. So where am I going with this...nowhere in particular but I just thought I would throw a thought out there for everyone or more like ANYone to chew on.

Its only 2:52pm?!?!?

It really is amazing how your day can just come to a screeching halt sometimes. Not because of some cataclysmic event just more by the slow passage of time. Time really is the one true constant in life. It is always there it is always the same amount and there is nothing you can do to stop it, slow it or even make it go faster though sometimes personal perception effects that. I endlessly search my buddy list some days looking someone to chat with, and when I can find no one after repeated attempts then I know it is time for a post. Not really sure where we will go with this post but lets see where we end up. Hope on kiddies and enjoy the ride. It really was another good weekend just all around. I spend Friday night at home alone, and sometimes that is what I love the best. As cold and heartless as that may sound to A, I really do just enjoy my time alone just to sit around watch some TV, with my hand down my pants, as I like to put it. Don't get me wrong I really enjoy my Human contact, but sometimes I like to be a hermit and be secluded from the outside world. I did watch the movie Deja Vu with Denzel Washington. I would give it a 3.75 star rating out of 5. It is a good pop corn flick if you do not want to think too much and like the whole 'time travel' thing. Then Saturday came and renewed sense of vigor came over me. I went to the composting facility and got a truck load of mulch that I was planning on placing around my house on Sunday(more on that later), had a good work out(added 10 lbs to my weight circuit), and I eventually made it up to A's to enjoy the NFL draft and a particular NBA team winning performance at a local pub. It really was just a bar, but I like saying pub because that is what those British people say. But anywho, had a great time at the bar with A and her friends, got totally toasted(Thank you: 32oz draft Miller Lites) Though in the process of my drinking I did win a couple of t-shirts and an autograph jersey from one of players on the team, which I thought was very cool. So after a 12 hour 'nap' into the next morning. I awake and find out that at some point during the prior evening that I agreed to go to the local MLB baseball team home game, which threw off my plans for a yard work filled Sunday though I can not complain, it was a beautiful day for a game and they won so you could not ask for much more. After the game A and I hit the bike trail for a 29 mile jaunt which was quite enjoyable.

Wow what a boring post, I am surprised if anybody made it through that dribble, especially after the ringing endorsement I received from my buddy over at Looking for Me. Oh well read some of my previous posts and you may enjoy those all the same. At least I gave you a little peak into my life.

Though I will provide some of this for enjoyment: The World's Smallest Dog (and I am not kidding)